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--- Snakes on a Car - Movie ---
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Microfilm
Snakes on a Car - Trailer
Trailer for the upcoming Snakes on a Car Microfilm |
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Actions!
State Secrets
| Description | Credits | Script | Reviews | Blog | Comments |
Snakes on a Car
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY
TRENT drives to work in his SEDAN with his buddy ERIC riding in the
passenger seat. They're wearing shirts and ties, getting ready for another day at the office.
They are relaxed, sipping coffee in unison from their LATTE CUPS, cruising down the road.
Eventually, they pull up to MIKE's house. MIKE, another office worker,
gets in the back seat and closes the door.
MIKE
(Yawning.)
Mornin'
TRENT passes MIKE a LATTE CUP.
TRENT
Half fat, half sugar, extra hot chocolate mocholate latte.
MIKE
(Sipping the coffee, desperate for caffeine.)
Thanks
ERIC
Hey, I saw you on the Sunday morning news, Mike.
MIKE
Yeah, you saw that? Strangest thing. I'm standing in the kitchen sink, I look
outside the window and there's this guy hanging from my pear tree gettin' beaten to death
with a baseball bat.
TRENT
Wow.
MIKE
Yeah, and I was the only witness. You guys can't imagine how
many death threats I've been gettin'.
ERIC
Did you, like, call the cops or somethin'?.
MIKE
Oh yeah. They know. That's why I'm not allowed to drive a car. Hey, thanks
for the ride, by the way.
TRENT
No problem.
ERIC notices something on the windshield, hanging down from the roof.
ERIC
Hey, Trent?
TRENT
Yeah?
ERIC
I think there's a snake on your car.
TRENT
What?
ERIC
(Pointing to the snake.)
Yeah. Right here. There's a snake on your car.
MIKE
(Pointing to the rear window.)
Actually guys, there's one back here too.
TRENT
(Calmly.)
Oh my God. There's more than one snake on my car. Do you know what this
means? It means there are snakes on my car.
ERIC
Weird. Why would there be snakes on a car?
(Turning to face Mike.)
Hey, Mike, didn't you say something about death threats?
MIKE
(Matter of fact.)
Well, yeah, but what an incredibly ineffective plot to kill someone.
I mean, besides, you'd think they would have put the snakes in the car as opposed to on the car.
TRENT
(A bit upset.)
Wait. Are we sure there aren't any snakes in my car.
The three commuters look at one another, then start searching the car
for snakes. Trent keeps driving, even though his isn't paying any attention to the road.
ERIC
(Matter of fact.)
Nope. Just snakes - on the car.
TRENT
(Relieved and feeling a bit silly.)
Pffft. Ha.
MIKE
(Matter of fact.)
We would have had real problems if the snakes were in the car.
The three characters sit back and ride. They sip their lattes in unison.
Suddently, there is an odd sound from the car.
ERIC
(Worried.)
What was that?
MIKE
(Stressed. Loosening his tie.)
Guys, it's getting kinda warm in here.
The snakes have deactivated the airconditioning system!
ERIC
Close the vents!
They close the vents quickly, one after the other.
MIKE
Shhh. You guys hear something?
TRENT
(With dread.)
There's something on the roof.
The three characters look up slowly. ERIC lifts his arm to open
the MOONROOF SHADE. He pulls it back to see a bunch of snakes on the moonroof.
TRENT, ERIC & MIKE
(Screaming.)
Arghhh! Close it! Close it!
MIKE
(Panicked.)
It's like Jurrasic f****** Park in here!
TRENT
(Turning to confront Mike.)
Mike, calm down. You're only going to make the snakes smarter
and angrier.
ERIC
(Distraught.)
I watch Animal World all the time. Snakes aren't supposed to act like
this. Something is making them crazy.
MIKE
(Looking at his latte cup.)
Oh my God... It's the latte!
ERIC
(Grabbing Mike's latte cup.)
The Sunbucks caffeine must be driving them mad.
MIKE
(Screaming.)
Destroy the lattes!
MIKE, ERIC and TRENT guzzle their lattes.
TRENT
Ugh. It's so hot!
MIKE
Oh my God. So much mocholate!
ERIC
I will never order carmel schmarmel again!
MIKE
I just scalded my soul!
Finally, the lattes are drained, as are the emotions of the commuters.
ERIC
Hey guys. I drank all my coffee, but there's something still in my latte!
TRENT
Oh no!
ERIC looks at his LATTE CUP. The cap comes off and a SNAKE flies out of
it, hitting ERIC in the face. ERIC wrestles with the snake, screaming the whole time.
MIKE
Trent, keep driving. Eric, I got it. I got it.
MIKE grabs the SNAKE from ERIC and MIKE wrestles it. TRENT keeps screaming.
MIKE
Open the window! Open the window!
TRENT opens the window, and ERIC throws the SNAKE out.
TRENT
I am sick of these mother f****** snakes on my mother f****** car!
Trent yanks the wheel and the CAR goes into a wild skid. Mike flies out
the wondow and barely hangs on to the C-pillar. TRENT turns the wheel the other way, and they
are pressed toward the right side of the car. ERIC struggles to reach MIKE.
ERIC
Mike, give me your hand! Give me your hand!
ERIC struggles to pull MIKE back into the CAR. TRENT then straightens the
wheel and let his foot off the gas, until the CAR comes to a stop.
TRENT, ERIC and MIKE
(panting.)
Ahh. Oh my God.
MIKE
(Continuing to pant. Straightening his hair.)
Oh. Oh Jesus.
(Calming down, looking up.)
Hey, I think all the snakes are gone.
TRENT
(Smiling.)
Good, 'cause we're here.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
TRENT, ERIC and MIKE get out of the car.
ERIC
(Looking at his watch.)
And three minutes to spare.
A SNAKE flies at MIKE, hitting him in the chest. MIKE struggles with the SNAKE.
ERIC
(Pulling out a handgun and aims it at MIKE.)
MIKE!
FREEZE FRAME
TITLE (overlay)
Warning: When shooting someone wearing a bullet-proof vest, be sure
they are actually wearing a bullet-proof vest.
CUT TO BLACK
AUDIO
(Gunshots.)
Bang! Bang!
TITLE
This has been a safety warning from ColCrush.com
-- END --
Copyright ©2007 by Poorly Projected Pictures. All rights reserved.
Copyright ©2007 - 2023 by Poorly Projected Pictures. All rights reserved.
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